i just belched

I've been a teacher for thirteen years, so I've had my fair share of weird moments. I'm not real proud of some of them...

Once I tripped while walking in front of my class. I did my best Pee Wee Herman imitation and yelled, "I MEANT TO DO THAT!"

Twice I fell off a stool in front of my class. Banged up my tail bone pretty badly but handled it with incredible grace. Ha.

Years ago, with a class full of kids, a student asked, "Ms. Brown, what is EJACULATION?"

I once casually sauntered out of the building with my students in typical fire drill fashion, until I noticed that there were flames shooting down the hall behind me. What did I do? I put my hand on the kid in front of me and yelled, "RUN!" Just what we're NOT supposed to do, right?

Just last week I started to talk and out came nothing but the biggest belch ever.

When my school was undergoing major renovation, I once stood in front of a wall, believeing 100% that it was about to come down. I put my back to it and made myself as large as possible (as if I could shield anyone from a WALL) and told a kid to run and get the principal. The wall didn't come down. But I was ready.

I have been known to bribe students to do work with candy, no homework, tickets to movies, pizza, marbles, field trips, trips outside and gum. (None of it works).

I have resorted to singing and dancing to get student's attention.

I have made students stand on their desks to look out a window so they could see my daughter walking by (with her daycare class).

I have told many a failed joke. I am convinced to this day that teenagers don't really have a sense of humor.

I have played very loud hip hop, rap, techno and SCREAMING music (at a student's request) to show how hip and cool I am. I don't succeed.

I have given "the rock" about eight thousand times, hoping someone will think I'm hip and cool. Still, I don't succeed.

I have attempted to speak "hip hop" to appeark hip and cool. I don't succeed.

I once showed the movie "Babe" to my class as a reward and had to write a curricular rationale for why it would be appropriate for an English class. Total bullshit.

I once promised a student that I would wear my hair in a pseudo-mohawk and then never followed through. I still will...someday.

I once made up my own words to "it's a hard knock life" (from Annie) and sang the song to my class.

I have never, ever cried in front of my class. They'll never get me.

My new obsession

I do have some obsessive compulsive tendencies but most of the time they are controlled by a nice little dose of happy pill that I take every morning. However, I've become obsessed with music downloads. I've always loved music but once I got an iPod, I found just the thing that can pacify my insomnia. Geez. I can't get enough. And damn iTunes just sends me down 100 roads to more and better stuff - there's no getting out of this one anytime soon.

Any music suggestions from the peanut gallery? Suggestions for music to explore, that is...this is an obsession I'd like to keep.

Tryin' to be like Clandy

TEN random things you might not know about me

1. I hate being cold.
2. I could watch TV nonstop for 24 hours (or more)
3. Tootsie Rolls are one of my favorite foods
4. I almost never go barefoot (I love socks)
5. I read Sports Illustrated, cover to cover
6. I love airports
7. I published a chapter in a college communications textbook
8. I played the cello for nine years
9. I know all of the states in alphabetical order
10. I fantasize about riding a train cross country (in a sleeper car, of course)

NINE places I’ve visited

· Vegas, Vegas, Vegas, Baby (I love Vegas)
· Tucson, Arizona - Go 'Cats
· New York City! LOVE IT
· Florida - mostly the middle of the state, but all over (wish I were there now)
· Boston, Mass (02134)
· Nashville, Tennessee (Grand Ole Opry, believe it or not)
· Dallas, TX
· Albuquerque, NM (at Christmas - best time to go)
· Chicago (love my Chi-town)

EIGHT ways to win my heart

Scratch my back
Have a beer with me
Give me a massage
Bring me a treat
Mail me something - anything
Buy me a magazine
Buy me a book
Take me out to dinner
(these are all typical, boring answers - sorry)

SEVEN things I want to do before I die

Ride a train (in sleeper car) across the US
Go to Europe
Stand on a stage on Broadway and just peek out of the curtain
Write something important
Take my daughter to Disneyworld
Climb a mountain
Have all my friends in one place

SIX things I’m afraid of

Anything bad happening to my children
SNAKES - shudder, shudder
Heights (but I'm getting better)
Not being able to sleep
That I don't make all the right "mom" decisions
Drowning (even thought I'm a really good swimmer)

FIVE things I don't like

cilantro
screaming music
people who are arrogant
unloading the dishwasher
folding the laundry

FOUR ways to turn me off

only talk about yourself
show up late
look at me like I'm crazy
suggest that I'm chubby (that would be my dad)

THREE Things I do everyday

kiss my girls
talk to my mama
read before falling asleep

TWO things that make me happy

why only two???
my little fam fam
being at home

ONE thing on my mind right now

my little sick boo boo baby girl

Just Because it's Cute

causeitscute
Originally uploaded by mamalicious1.

I love this picture - not sure why. Ran across it earlier today and decided to post it. Photos are more fun than anything I'd have to write today anyway.

Hurricane Colorado

One thing I didn't know when I moved here is that it gets windy...damn windy. And wind freaks me out. I'm from Indiana and when things get crazy, I head for the basement (tornado country was good training grounds). This morning we have what has been termed "hurricane force winds" in the foothills. What?

I couldn't figure out how to get Ellie from the car to the building so I threw my coat over her head, tucked her under my arm and ran like crazy for the front door. I had ice pounded into the back of my head - that's how windy it was. What kind of weather is this?

I'm definitely ordering something to be delivered at lunch.