Monday, January 30, 2006

it's my birthday

I'm trying to muster up some excitement about my birthday, but honestly, it ain't no big thing.

I'm 38 today. There are days when I feel so goofy I'd guess I'm 25...and there are days when I feel so tired that you'd think I was 50. Most of the time I'm very happy where I am...I embrace the coming years and look forward to them, even. I never really thought I'd feel that way. I had that "grass is greener" attitude for a long time. I don't know if it's medication or wisdom, but I'm not looking for something better anymore. What I have is pretty damn great.

So happy birthday to me on this not-so-exciting day.

Friday, January 27, 2006

so they say she IS chunky


chunk
Originally uploaded by mamalicious1.
Yesterday a very rude person mistakenly sent me an email that referred to my child as "chunky." For more info, see post below. This is the picture that prompted the chunky comment. I showed it to my students today (after giving them the oh-so-important lesson on email etiquette) and they decided that while the message wasn't so nice, my child is, indeed, "chunky."

Hmph. I think it's the angle.

Thursday, January 26, 2006

people are stupid - it's making me cranky

Today's lesson: make sure you pay attention to the address line when you're trying to FORWARD an email to someone. Disaster can result if you hit REPLY instead. Example (long-story warning):

We have these friends who travelled with us last summer. I find one of the couple to be extremely enjoyable and even wonderful to be with. The other is a pain in my ass. Most of that has to do with the fact that our ideas of spending time on a kid-friendly cruise were very different, so by the end of the trip we'd kind of gone our separate ways. No big deal, no love lost, just the realization that we're not all great travel companions. Sooooo, since the cruise we've been in contact sporadically - "hi, how are you? hope the kids are good." I sent such an email with an attached photo of Ellie yesterday." Here's the REPLY I got:

"You thought (insert their child's name here) was chunky! Why is she getting in touch with me? Will ignore for a while."

Okay, breathe. It's obvious that she was TRYING to FORWARD my chunky child's picture to her partner and wondered why I'm getting in touch with her. Why are people so stupid? Why am I so stupid to even send the photo of my NOT CHUNKY child?

So I replied like this: "I'm guessing you didn't intend for me to receive this message...but now I get the message. Loud and clear. Why was I getting in touch with you? Just trying to be nice. No need to ignore me, though - we'll stay away."

Please weigh in - did I craft a good response?

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

things i love

1. my family (duh)
2. my job
3. New York City
4. rainy days (it never rains in Colorado so I appreciate when it does)
5. standing on a snow-covered mountain, just off the lift
6. that crazy-blue sky that is only in Colorado
7. iTunes
8. evenings at home
9. chatting with neighbors
10. airports
11. dark chocolate (the darker the better)
12. coffee
13. the Backyardigans
14. March Madness
15. Indiana in the Fall
16. stupid MTV shows (okay, I'm a Laguna-holic)
17. ER
18. R Family Vacations
19. reading People magazine
20. news shows (Dateline, 20/20, etc).
21. Mexico
22. Mexican beer
23. sitting in bed holding Courtney's had at the end of the day
24. reading books (good books)
25. singing really loud and yelling with the kids
26. shooting hoop from upstairs on the downstairs basketball goal
27. doing sticker books ("stitter boots") with Ellie
28. throwing the football with Matthew
29. learning fun things (like snowboarding)
30. talking to my mom every day (yes, every day)
31. watching tractor dvds (no joke - we have "All About John Deere," parts 1, 2 and 3)
32. looking at maps
33. hiking
34. telling stories
35. Ellie's care-givers
36. familiarity...the ease that comes with being together for eight + years
37. Sleeper Cell
38. summer (I'm a teacher)
39. tattoos
40. my life

Monday, January 23, 2006

i thought her career was over

I have always told myself that I wouldn't be "over-bearing" mom. I've promised myself and others that I'd let Ellie explore her interests and if she wants to be a six-foot ballerina, so be it. Saturday was a rude awakening.

We went to a birthday party at "Monkey Bizness," one of those bounce house, e.coli-filled play-places. This was Ellie's first "official" birthday party not in someone's home, so it was educational for all of us. She was a bit intimidated at first (she was one of the youngest) but saw those bouncy slide things, announced "TUNNELS, MAMA!" and literally jumped right in.

Not long after she'd been jumping, she fell down and started crying. Ellie doesn't cry much from pain. In fact, there have been times when I've worried that she had some weird, no-nerve-ending disorder because she doesn't get hurt much (and believe me, she falls down and gets her fair share of bonks). Anyway, she cried and refused to stand up. When she did, she wouldn't put any weight on her right leg. My immediate thought? "NO! NOT HER KNEE! WE HAVE TOO MANY ATHLETIC EVENTS AHEAD OF US!"

I'm so ashamed of myself. Ellie has recovered but I've done a little (okay, a lot) of soul-searching since her injury and my stupid reaction. She can be a ballerina. Really. She can be an amateur knitter. I really don't care. She can be anything she wants...as long as she's healthy.

Oh, and by the way, her knee is fine.

Dad in Kayak


Dad in Kayak
Originally uploaded by mamalicious1.
This is my dad in his new kayak (he's the one in front). He's extremely proud of it. My mom and dad have a new, "second" home in Florida now and the only problem with it has been that my dad doesn't quite know what to do with his time. The kayak has been a perfect solution.

My sister had a nightmare recently that my dad was in the canal behind their home, in the kayak, surrounded by sharks. Her nightmare prompted her to suggest that my dad buy a handgun to carry with him in the kayak. For Pete's sake...what could be scarier than my dad in a kayak with a handgun???

Wednesday, January 18, 2006

Goin' to the stock show


hat1
Originally uploaded by mamalicious1.
I'd never been to the stock show and, until I had a child, had no interest in going. This lavender hat was worth every bit of effort it took for us to go and - don't tell anyone - we had a blast.

I had to ignore the women chewing tobacco and some of the stinkier animal-butt smells (kind of like going to the Indiana State Fair) but we had so much fun that I'm considering going again. Go figure.

things i hate

Today I'm a little cranky (call it a terrible headache last night and a toddler hollering for me at the butt crack of dawn), so I'm posting something cranky.

Things I hate:

putting away folded laundry;
when i notice that there's no tp in the bathroom only after i've tinkled;
people who don't share;
cilantro;
having to wake Ellie up to take her to school;
when Matthew sings really loud with his iPod (all we hear is his off-key singing);
watching the same movie more than once (unless it's Monster's Inc. or anything with Pee Wee Hermann);
waking up and realizing that no one made coffee;
putting away dishes (from the dishwasher);
feeling like i'm in trouble for something;
not having time to read.

This list was hard to make. I guess there aren't many things I hate.

Tuesday, January 17, 2006

maybe I'll become a pro

For my birthday, Courtney bought me a snowboarding lesson. We went up Saturday with friends and I took a lesson while Court went skiing with our friends (who snowboard). I was very nervous. I'm not crazy about skiing because I did it for the first time at age 30 and it never made sense to me. For someone who is normally very coordinated, skiing made me feel like an idiot. So I've always wanted to try snowboarding, but I was nervous.

I fell and fell and fell. And laughed and laughed and laughed at the sheer joy of snowboarding. This must be what it feels like to try crack: do it once and you're hooked. Because I'm hooked. I suck at it, but I can't wait to go again. What a wonderful birthday present - to spend the day doing something new in the amazing beauty that is high altitude Colorado.

Friday, January 13, 2006

Just like a million other stories, I'm sure...

A friend and fellow blogger posted her son’s birth story here, and it made me want to write (for the tenth or so time) my daughter’s birth story. Every mother says it’s the most amazing moment in her life and I’m no different. Ellie’s birth was the most special thing I have ever experienced.

I was scheduled for an induction so was directed to report to the hospital the night before. Before heading there, we had dinner with friends at our neighborhood restaurant and, surprisingly, had a good time. I’d expected to be completely distracted about what was about to happen, but I wasn’t. We laughed a lot and talked about how life was going to change forever in the course of the next 24 hours.

Since Courtney works on the unit where we were delivering, she’s hand-picked the nurses we would work with. That was a big plus. The nurses were excited and got us settled in pretty quickly. They gave me some meds to prepare for the induction and encouraged us to get some sleep. Yeah, right. I don’t think I slept all night.

At 7:00 am, they started the induction. At first I just felt like I was having cramps, so didn’t think anything of it. Courtney and the other nurses kept asking me about my “big contractions” and I kept thinking “this is what it feels like?” I was expecting excruciating pain but all I felt was what seemed to be comparable to bad monthly cramping. Hmph.

Around ten, I was dilated to 5. The nurse said that the anesthesiologist was available if I wanted to go ahead with the epidural (we’d decided much earlier that we would, indeed, do the epidural). She also said that the unit was really busy and that it might be a good idea to have it done, in case the doctor got really busy. We said okay.

Now, this is the part I was really worried about. I wasn’t quite so worried about giving birth as I was about having someone stick a needle in my spine. Go figure. The epidural turned out to be no big deal (in fact, I was more worried about Courtney than I was about myself) and it helped me to feel better than I had in months. With pain not a factor, the nurse told me to get some rest. Courtney and I proceeded to fall fast asleep for the next three hours. The nurse even said we were snoring.

I woke up at 1:00 and immediately looked at the monitor. I was pissed right away because it looked as if no progress had been made. I was thinking “dang, all that medicine and I’m not progressing after three hours.” I felt a little discouraged until Reg (the nurse) walked in, checked my cervix and announced, “oh my goodness, you’re complete!” Turns out that the monitor had fallen off while I was napping. Courtney responded with a “holy shit” and the game was on.

My parents had just arrived at the hospital from Indianapolis. Since we thought that it would be just a few moments until a baby arrived, they decided to stay. Right then a minister walked in and I said (loudly), “IS SOMEONE DYING?” He assured me that it was just a courtesy provided by the hospital that a minister visit, in case the patient wanted it. I was relieved but still a little freaked out.

Here’s how it ends up: I started pushing at 3:00 pm. I had contractions every two minutes – this was consistent through the whole thing and by 6:00 pm, I was exhausted. Ellie seemed not to be making much progress around my tear-dropped pelvis (more than anyone needs to imagine) and the doctor started to be concerned about my fatigue and the fact that I was feeling a little frustrated. I mean, come on, I can hang in there forever as long as I know we’re going to meet our goal.

Dr. W. asked me if we wanted to use the vacuum. I immediately said no. I’m as stubborn as they come and I have a bit of a pride problem. I couldn’t say yes, even if I’d wanted to. That would have been giving up. We kept on for another 30 minutes or so and finally, Courtney saw some fear registering in my face. She said, “that’s it, let’s get her out of there.” So the cavalry was called in (I guess they need all these folks in there to use the vacuum thing) and there was a flurry of activity. The anesthesiologist came in to give me a “booster” dose for my epidural and the neonatal doc came in to take care of Ellie should there be a problem. Now I really had an audience.

Once Dr. W. actually held up that vacuum, it was as if Ellie said, “no way am I doing that.” I couldn’t control my body at that point and just put my head back and said, “I have to push!” About five pushes later, she was on her way. Once they got her shoulders out, the doctor said, “Melissa, reach down here and get your baby.” While shocked (I didn’t know this would happened), I didn’t hesitate. I just grabbed that girl and pulled her onto my stomach…and my life changed forever.

I started that crying, sobbing, wailing thing that you only imagine to happen at such an event as childbirth, while Courtney cleaned her off and started kissing my head. She was crying, too, of course and forgot about her big job: cutting the cord. Dr. Watson handed her the scissors and she was as confident and as calm as I’ve ever seen her (I’m so glad she got to do that part).

I told Courtney to “run and get my mom and dad!” (they were in the waiting area) and moments later, they got to see their grand-daughter for the first time. I loved it that they were there and will always cherish the fact that they drove across the country to meet Ellie just minutes after she arrived.

People say that having a baby changes you and I always thought I understood that – until I had Ellie. I was not prepared for the impact that her arrival made for my life, our lives. I have never felt more sure of God’s existence, more proud of accomplishing something and I’ve never felt more joy upon meeting such a new and beautiful life. Nothing will replace that moment and I will work as hard as I can for as long as I live to remember as well as possible the space in time that changed me forever.

Thursday, January 12, 2006

I must be a terrible singer

My mom used to sing to me and I LOVED it. In fact, I thought she had the most beautiful, angelic voice...as an adult, I understand that I was just a mama's girl. My mom could have sung horrendous words completely off-key and I still would have loved it. Not so with Ellie.

This morning she was a crank-monster (I hate waking her up to take her to school and this was one of those mornings). To ease her into the wake up process, I started to sing quietly. I'm not a wonderful singer but I can carry a tune...really. As soon as I started singing, she started yelling "NO, NO, NO!" I thought maybe she just didn't want me to wake her up, so as I changed her diaper, I started singing gently again. Her reaction? "NO, NO, NO!" Maybe it was the diaper. As I'm buckling her into the car seat, I start singing. "NO, NO, NO!" I guess I won't be trying out for American Idol anytime soon.

Tuesday, January 10, 2006

Total Nuc-u-lar Meltdown

We had such a good day. Ellie had returned to school, had a great time with her pal...we picked Matthew up from the bus (one of her favorite activities), Courtney got home in time for dinner. Lots of laughter, playing, being silly. A very happy time for all. We were even shooting hoop from upstairs (down to the first floor) and Courtney didn't yell at us.

It came time for Ellie to go to bed and suddenly she turned into Ellie-Zilla. She has done this a time or two before - she totally fixated on an idea and there was no giving it up. Last night it was "ELLIE DO IT" with pouring milk into her sippy cup. Come on, she's two. She can't pour milk from a jug into a sippy cup but she wouldn't let me do it...or Matthew...or Courtney...or Cagney (the dog) for that matter. This went on for 40 minutes until finally she was soothed. What did the trick? A large tupperware pitcher and string cheese (yes, somehow I offered her a large pitcher and put string cheese in it). This was the magic combination that stopped the sobbing and allowed her to settle in for some reading and, eventually, sleep.

This kid thing is hard.

Monday, January 02, 2006

Hip Hop Wannabe


hiphop
Originally uploaded by mamalicious1.
Ellie loves her brother's clothes. Today's ensemble was especially cute.

I suck at blogging

I haven't taken the time to write. That's all it is. I haven't taken the time to do shit this vacation. That's all it is. Oh, except play with the kids.

Let's see - the holidays have been fun, although we could have done without the trip to Indiana. I think next year we'll stay at home. I love my family and miss them always, but traveling is hard and sometimes it's just better to sleep in your own bed. 'Nuf said.

Went to bed early on New Year's Eve, spent today at the vet. Today I decided that I want to learn to knit. My house is as clean as it's been in awhile and I'm ALMOST caught up on the laundry.

I love Christmas break.

What a lame entry this is.